This is a b- song. Sounds like one of those songs that is great accoustic and electric. I think guitars with the blah, blahs whould be good but, the ‘blahs’ need to be a bit louder. “Frogs on pharaohs” is very cool.

This song was just okay! It seems like you need some build up to add more of a beat after about the first chorus, then slow it back down, and make it more acoustic sounding towards the end, that would make it cooler to me, but who am I, just a fan is all! LOL, it wasn’t bad either, love you guyz, keep on keeping on…….Tabbie

I’d love this as a Black Lab song, but for that it needs the energy and sense of pace that you had in the original video. Perhaps that’s not where you felt the song wanted to go, but I like the idea of juxtaposing the remorceful lyrics with the exciting and upbeat energy the vocals, stronger rhythm and performance the writing originally had.

“I love you as I’m lying through my teeth” is still an awesome lyric!

The first thought I had after listening to the song was that it needs to have some angry/hurt lines. Hearing what you are saying makes me feel sad and hopeless but it angers me at the same time. Hearing different types of emotions would give it a more contrasting feel.

i really think this song should be stay exactly like u record it now . i cant imagine it sound in a diffrent way , its simply acoustic man no doubt ‘ sometimes in the small things u can find the beauty and that what i love here

The song has some awesome lyrics, and I think instead of the bah bah bah, it would be awesome if it said bye bye bye. Sounds beatle esque in its current state. Some hard driving overlays of guitar an bass would really kick it up

I love acoustic songs, but this needs a lot more to it. Black Lab should definitely work on “Say Goodbye”…however, it’s just my opinion.

I should point out that I am totally addicted to this track, regardless!

amazing song ‘ pls someone can write the lyrics ??

hey everyone, thx for the input! keep it coming.

I’m not sure this song needs the bursting energy of a typical Black Lab ballad, but I do agree that it desires some type of change in its spirit towards the middle/middle-end. Perhaps if you sung the bridge an octave higher, it might lend some exuberance. Let it swell in that section and then, as someone else suggested, rein it in. I agree that strings in lieu of the “bah, bah, bah” is a smart idea. The long, remorseful crying of a violin would fit the mood of the song perfectly. Right now, the “bah, bah, bah” sounds like a vocal placeholder for something more interesting. Of course, my comments are made with much appreciation and respect for your work. Thanks for asking us.

I kinda love this song, and hope you wind up using it on the next BL album. As a songwriter, I rarely like hearing what other songs a song of mine reminds someone of, unless it’s just about the feeling or atmosphere of a song – so I hope this is taken the right way – but the feel of “Say Goodbye” reminds me of an awesome tune by The Weepies called “World Spins Madly On”. In a similar way, I think “Say Goodbye” could grow a little without having to bludgeon it with bass and drums…just keep it laid-back. Some strategically placed strings/swells would be interesting to hear. That said, I don’t think I’ve heard a Black Lab tune yet where I went, “God I wish Paul hadn’t added that guitar track” or bass line or something. I think it’s a great song that will still be great, even if the feel of the album as it comes together forces some changes….

Personally, I love this song as is. My all time favorite Black Lab songs were always “Underground” and the acoustic versions of “Remember” and “Time Ago,” which is to say I love it when you do heartfelt, simple, melodic tunes. That said, those three aforementioned tracks all feature a sort of build-up, climax moment which this song doesn’t currently have.

However, I kinda like that. It’s even. This song would be great as the closeout song on a film, but I just always think that way about your songs

I’d say its too stripped down, Paul Your vocal melody is great but the music sounds a bit canned. Then again, I’m partial to the production on ‘See the Sun’.

I love this track just as it is…
Stripped down and raw…
Songs like this one, Ten Million Years, Gates of the Country, and Keep Myself Awake are the reason why I’ve been a Black Lab fan for over 15 years…
Keep up the great work, Paul…
BTW…
I would love to hear an updated version of Ten Million Years…

First ,thanks for a little something to wet the appetite. Looking forward to more.
As for the song. It’s a good song, definetly worth more production time. Wether it stays acousitc or goes towards a black lab album is a tough call. I can hear it both ways. I definetly hear strings in the bah, bah’s. A sad lonlely violin if acousitc or more of a symphony sound if it goes to the album. As for “frogs upon the pharaohs” line, I like it. It reminded me of “like Dr. Zhivago lost in Chicago”. It fits the mood of the song and is a very visual metaphor.

Absoutely incredible as it is

Oh wow…. I like it but I agree with needing a little build up in the song then slow it back down… but I absolutly love the line “I love you but I’m lying through my teeth”
The Bah, Bah, Bahs are low enough that they are not really noticable but to me that is a good thing. Hope you guys keep writing great songs.

I really like how the song sounds now, but I do agree that a slow build up of energy would make the song quite powerful!

I love the quiet drama in this acoustic version. I’m anxious to hear the full work-up as well!

OMGosh, I love these lyrics. I understand the feedback so far about it needing a bit more ‘oomph’ under the track but I loooove the acoustic nature of the song,. Totally confident you’ll strike the balance so as the power in the lyrics doesn’t get lost if the ‘hard driving overlay of guitars’ are added. Awesome work!! Love you guys!

If I could see the song any other way
than how it was recorded, I would honestly have to say, “put a bit of a laid back country feel to it”–similar to what you did pre Blacklab. The lyrical content and slow, almost Irregular phrased singing style make it a perfect candidate for a vocals-up.

The chorus (”if I can’t say …”) is very reminiscent of some of the songs on Cake or Death. It probably needs something different to make it stand out.
I really like how harmony kicks in at the end of each verse (”I find it hard …”). I would use that throughout the song, e.g., maybe expand to 3 part harmony for the rest of the chorus, cut back to one vocal part for most of the verse (maybe add another track to emphasize certain parts).
The song sounds like it needs a vulnerable voice, like an Alison Krauss song.
I could see this song working well if done like Postcards, but I could also see it working well with guitars like See the Sun.
The part with “20 years of hell …” should be punched up to make it a classic bridge, with more dynamics (”I have to say goodbye” should sound like a person who’s broken)
Since much of the verse is low pitch & the chorus goes to a higher range, a cool effect might be to use harmony in the verse that’s higher & switch in the chorus so it sounds like a duet with the different ‘people’ singing melody in different parts of the song. (If the song is about an internal struggle, the effect could be used to highlight different states of mind)

I agree with the others….don’t change a thing! Love it. The Black Lab sound I have loved since day one! Keep it coming.

Hey Paul ! First of all: this song is definitely worth it – to me it needs to be bumped up with more of the warm and fat sound carpet of your e-guitar. But what about this: make two versions, one that’s your dynamic and typical black lab-sound, the other one is the floating-minded sensitive version, played a little bit more slowly and underlined with some violines or cello?
However, keep on workin on it, I don`t want to miss this song in the future!
Lovely greetings from GERMANY!
Frauke

i love it as it is… I like the acoustic moodiness and depth, the sort of echo to the demo. Unlike what others have said, I like it as it is and don’t want any additional noise added! It’s a bit different from most of the other Black Lab songs–and different can be refreshing! Or, put it on a Paul solo album if you don’t think it fits with Lab… I buy all your stuff .

1: Yes, it’s definitely a working Black Lab song that needs the injection of BL sound.
2: Definitely keep on keeping on. How about a ‘This Night’ kind of vibe with an open string/cello arrangement
3: You could lose the “bah bah bah” – I liked Rich’s suggestion of “bye bye bye”
4: If you go this way and slow it you could lose the “frogs”
If so I’d see this becoming one of those songs with the right amount of ‘quirkiness’ that’s always played at funerals for people with spirit. Yeah I know I’m stretching the friendship right..

I think that it is phenomenal as it is…I just wish that it were longer. I love the effect on the verse vocals…reminds me of my older sisters and the 70’s such as Seals & Crofts, but waaayyy cooler! Don’t change it…just make it longer!!!

Paul,
As I listened to “Say Goodbye”, I couldn’t help thinking I’d heard it before…but couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it dawned on me: “Say Goodbye” reminds me of a slower, less pop-oriented version of Avril Lavigne’s “My World” from her “Let Go” disc. Not necessarily a bad thing as I enjoyed her power-pop debut (not so much the trying-to-hard follow-up). In any case, while “Say Goodbye” is obviously stronger lyrically than Avril’s offering, sonically it’s just not doing it for me…but then that’s just me. Glad to hear you got your groove back…continued luck and much respect from those of us that appreciate your gift and talent.

Love it as is. Some of the time it’s nice to hear what emotion the song was really ment to have rather than to add and add to get to a product that is marketable. I tend to be moved more by rawness rather than theatrics. Glad you sent it out this way to start so now I have something I will listen to for years to come.

wow, really great comments. you guys are fuggin smart. assuming this gets worked up into a full track that is actually good, I hope everyone who said “leave it like it is” will forgive us. I think it could be really great, but we’ll have to see. I wanna get some strings on it and stuff.

the reason these demos are so short is cause they’re just that — quick & dirty demos, just a sketch to see if it’s something we want to invest more time into (by writing a proper intro, hook, bridge and/or solo, outro, etc. plus all the production sweat that goes into it). it’s kind of like an outline of a paper you have to write. it helps us answer the questions of “what goes where?” and “is there something here worth moving forward on?”

anyway, I love sending you guys this stuff. hopefully next month we’ll have something from the LA sessions.

see you!
p

needs the ‘e-bow effect’ of ‘time ago’ and ‘black eye’. those songs are so killer. juxaposing the raw, honest vocals with the sliding, keening noise rock e-bow guitar sound and a low slow bassline would knock this out of the park. the other approach would be the emo shred of ‘mine again’. maybe not as much drumming but it fits into the same emotional vein as that great song as well.

very much BL. this is very reminiscent of time ago, see the sun and lonely boy…would be great with some of those dirty, gritty, raw emotional effects that only paul can bring from his own experiences – the pain through the joy of loving/lusting so deep. love the lyricism as always.
cheers,
j

Leave this one for a future solo project. Add the “black lab” touch and make it special.