here it is, the BIG black lab b-sides collection, now available (once again) on CD.you can also get it in digital format. a zipped up folder with all 32 cd-quality tracks. just buy, click the link in the email you receive, double click the file once it’s finished downloading, drag the folder into iTunes or other mp3 player — and play, compress or burn to your heart’s delight! comes with art, lyrics, liner notes & promo singles from other black lab albums.in the last twelve years, black lab has recorded a lot of songs. some of these songs have made it onto albums, film soundtracks, tv scores and commercials; many haven’t. this collection brings together the best of those lost children, songs which never before found a home. they offer a viscerally different perspective on the band, a funhouse mirror-view of what the band was, what it is, and what it could have been. but most of all, as the title suggests, these songs are pure pleasure. they ring with creative freedom, spontaneity and invention. sometimes this means that the songs ended up being a bit too much — too wild, too aggressive, too honest, too sleazy, too sad, too pop, too stripped down, too stupid, too funny, too raw — but over the years they have proved to be favorite listening for the band and its close circle.this collection represents a wide variety of tracks, with a cornucopia of co-writers, musicians, engineers and producers throwing their hat into the ring. the only constant is singer/songwriter paul durham’s voice and words. some songs were written quickly in response to someone else’s track. some were written largely standing at the mic while the tape rolled. others were sweated over for hours and days and years, never quite coming together until the end (and sometimes not even then). there are a lot of experiments here. some succeeded and should have earned their rightful place on proper albums. some failed but are fun to listen to anyway. for obvious reasons, they vary a great deal in style, more like a mix tape than an album.many of these tracks were leaked via mp3 by original guitarist michael belfer during the period after recording black lab’s debut,your body above me (michael was the only one who knew how to use email). they floated around the internet, giving fans something to chew on during the long wait between the first album and the second. they are here for the first time in all their cd-quality glory, properly mastered. also here is every non-album track that has ever made its way onto a film or tv soundtrack. and then there’s a bunch of never-heard-before recordings from the vault, available now for the first time.
hope you enjoy!collaborators include the original recording band (michael belfer, geoff stanfield, michael urbano), touring drummer brian head, current black lab guitarist andy ellis, as well as josh freese (a perfect circle), paul ill (pink), brian macleod (sheryl crow), kenny aronoff (john mellencamp), brad hargreaves & arion salazar of third eye blind, tim mooney (american music club), philip steir (consolidated) marti frederiksen (aerosmith), hershel yatovitz (silvertone) & deej hofer (stray palace)


CD 1 track listing
01 underground
02 horses
03 black eye
04 keep myself awake
05 good day
06 tell me what to say
07 the moon
08 hole in the sky
09 sugar
10 free
11 gone away
12 lucky
13 not too late
14 head on a stake
15 rock star
16 I am a DJ (live)
CD 2 track listing
01 like I used to
02 mexican sand
03 your body as a marker
04 good life
05 philadelphia
06 lust
07 call
08 play with fire
09 tell me why
10 see the sun
11 perfect girl
12 circus lights
13 come on
14 what child is this
15 body of an angel
16 gates of the country (acoustic)

jump to lyrics


liner notes

CD1

underground c1999. this is one of my favorites, a strange, wonderful song perfectly served by this recording, produced and played by marti frederiksen. we wrote and recorded it in an afternoon. I scribbled lyrics while marti worked on the drum programming, and I got to drag out a lot of phrases that had been floating around my notebooks and glue them together. it should have been on an album but the album where it fits hasn’t been made yet, and I didn’t want to wait any longer. besides, even a b-sides album needs a lead-off single. I guess this is it. note the very radioheadish bridge. I was still listening to a lot of ok computer back then.

horses c1998. our a&r guy asked us to write a song for the film permanent midnight and sent me some dailies. I could tell it was a freakin dark movie and I wrote two songs, one dark and the other darker, while watching the scene where stiller throws himself against the office tower window again and again. they picked darker and we went in to record it with phil steir at his studio (toast, where we had made ybam). he gave us a nice, stripped down electro-80′s synthesis that worked great — especially brian’s phil collins-style drum entry. (also, geoff’s bass is pure evil). later the label guy gave me shit for not writing a single. I was, like, huh?

black eye c1997. this was an experiment we put together while waiting for our record to come out, produced by jacquire king and jason carmer and included on the varsity blues soundtrack. it was the first time I ever saw protools used as we were going for a very loop-based feel (dig those 90s-esque record scratches!) and basically recorded the whole thing at our rehearsal studio. I think some parts are cool and some parts are kinda dumb, but the sound of michael’s guitar is absolutely raging and still threatens to shred the cones of any and all speakers. favorite line: “maybe the mission ain’t good enough,” about a buddy’s girlfriend who left him ’cause his apartment was in a rough neighborhood.

keep myself awake c1999. geoff did a wonderful demo of this song, featuring the same loop at the top, using the big ass protools rig we had bought for him. it had a perfect vocal performance and a perfect guitar solo at the end. then he lost the files. by the time tvt wanted the song for buffy the vampire slayer, geoff had quit the band and we had to reconstruct the the demo with the help of brad and arion from 3eb. it was a lot of work and geoff got pissed cause we didn’t cut him in on the money. but we didn’t feel too bad since he had kept that big ass protools rig. anyway, I love this song and probably should have written 20 more just like it.

good day c1999. I had moved to l.a. and was working on getting a new record deal via my killer digi001, the first protools system that didn’t cost huge amounts of money. I had bought some cheesy loop cds and somehow came up with this pseudo-technometal pop song. it should be horrible but somehow I really really like it. it was one of the first things I had produced and performed all by my lonely since college, and I still love the gnarly bass sound, the casual violence of my voice and the cynical spirituality of the whole thing. “were you faking it all along? – hah! TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE!” fuggin da bomb.

tell me what to say c1998. we met with the director and producer of can’t hardly wait, who seemed shockingly young and cool. our impression was that their movie was also going to be cool, so I pulled out a song which was deeply personal to me and got ready to lay it on the line. I don’t think we had enough time to develop an arrangement that did it justice. we were also on tour and fried beyond belief. I like that the producer got a cello on it, but something about it still seems wrong and I’ve always wanted to take another shot at it. maybe someday.

the moon c1996. after the band that made ‘songs from the nineties’ broke up, jim barber from geffen called me up and invited me to come to atlanta and make some acoustic demos. those are the demos that got me my first deal, after which I put black lab together. this song is from that session (with some ex post facto organ & bv added) and has always been one of my favs. I’ve often thought about rerecording it but have been afraid that I couldn’t touch the rawness of this acoustic version. I’ll probably give it a shot at some point, but wanted you to hear it in the meantime.

hole in the sky c1999. after geoff left the band, michael and I floated around a bit, waiting to see if we were going to get dropped by interscope or not and trying to spend as much of their money as we could. we ended up in the valley at linda perry’s trainyard studio called red rum, hanging with two of her regular crew paul ill and brian macleod, a couple of total badasses and their friend the engineer (whose name I unfortunately can’t remember). we put some menacing shit down, and this is one of those tracks — a dylanesque kind of song I had been carrying around for years turned dark and heavy by ill’s creepy rhodes work and michael’s screaming, I-am-from-the-seventies outro.

sugar c1999. this is another red rum track, trying to get a sleazy, early disco kind of vibe with me filling in on falsetto for the girl backup singers. I was somehow convinced that doing my vocals without being able to hear them back would lead to more of a live vibe, and I was right if by “live” I meant “out of tune.” but what the hell. even if it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me you can still enjoy my spunk, right? all I know is that putting this song on is like jumping into a sex-crazed 70′s party, complete with blow, glitter, and thigh-high white leather platform boots. give us sugar!

free c1999. the third in the red rum trilogy. michael and I had this guitar/vocal vibe sitting around, but brian and paul gave it both bounce and weight, and unleashed the full-blown lyrical drama queen inside me, tapping deep into the male’s inability to say no when it comes to the ole reproductive urge — dig that hysteria at the end! the bridge is perhaps the single best piece of music I ever made with michael. pure psychedelic bliss.

gone away c2003. after sony collapsed and see the sun didn’t come out, andy and I moped around l.a., trying to get someone to distribute our perfect pop album. while we were moping we made some mopey music, this being the best example. andy plays some nice piano, it must be said, and while this isn’t as developed as it should be it does manage to be very sad. plus, I love the little “hoo”s at the end.

lucky c2003. kicking around l.a., writing crap songs for starlets and wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my life, I ran into david lichens who insisted we get together and write. we spent a super fun afternoon cranking out this baby which, while not necessarily in the black lab genre, is still really really, well, fun. and that’s not a word you can use to describe very many black lab songs: fun. anyway, just shut up and dig it.

not too late c2004. this started as a song andy and I were writing for some starlet and then decided it was too good to give it to her. it is therefore arranged very high but I really like it and always wished we could have gone into a big studio and spent $50k making it super slick. it’s sweet and sad and not too heavy. very sts.

head on a stake c2003. sitting around in andy’s north hollywood apartment, we wrote a lot of stuff (‘weightless,’ ‘gone’ and ‘the real you’ come from this era). sometimes we just wanted to step out of black lab and RAWK! that’s what this is, a descent into the descendants (I wish). I still think there is a parallel universe where this is the number one song for the 19th week running. “white skin, black skin, let them breed to the middle.” and check that bridge — that is some serious desperation! who is that guy?

rock star c1999. once we all got fired from interscope, jim decided we should record some proper demos and retake the hill. he hired a nice little studio (guitarist dude’s from hole) called the monastery and the best damn drummer he could find (josh freakin freese) and we cut three songs. this is one. it’s kind of stupid and kinda brilliant at the same time. I made michael play my boneheaded riff and josh crushed the drums. I have no idea who played bass. sorry. meanwhile, “it would suck to die before your prime like brandon lee or the guy in sublime.” sublime indeed.

I am a DJ c1998. a taste of black lab, live at slim’s in s.f. the full bowie blast. I think I was wearing a dress when we played this. and combat boots. those were the days…

CD2

like I used to c2001. this is an actual b-side, a song recorded and mixed for see the sun and then left off at the last minute for some unknown reason. I think it was either this or lifelike that had to go to maintain my compulsive insistence on albums with 12 songs (the 13th on passion was a hidden track, so it dudn’t count). andy gave the mix its shiny gloss and slicing guitars. I think I thought this was going to be some kind of great pop song. I do like the bridge though, especially that bit of feedback before it hits. kenny aronoff hits the drumz harder than should be legal.

mexican sand c1999. a weird collaboration with marti. not sure what we were going for but it’s one of those old tracks that I don’t hate. how’s that for an endorsement? I actually think there are a lot of cool elements that don’t quite hang together. also, I have no idea what the lyrics are about — never a good sign. like: “and I’m one by land, two by sea…” what the hell does that mean? you tell me.

your body as a marker c1998. this song was too slow and depressing for the first album, but I had the name in mind as the title of the first album. of course, it was met with a big ‘huh?’ by everyone else involved. I gave the title a little twist and suddenly everyone could understand it — your body above me. everyone’s favorite position. this recording is kinda crap (I think it’s just geoff and me) but you gotta give it up for those lyrics. that’s a serious number of syllables about… what? menstruation? oral sex? oral during menstruation? fish? dunno, but the third verse seems crystal clear, even after all these years.

good life c????. k, I have a confession to make, which is that this is my favorite track in this collection. why? not sure. maybe it’s because I have absolutely zero memory of recording it. I didn’t even know it existed until a member of the black lab army emailed me an mp3 recently. the chorus is wack, I know, but the verses and their creepy talk-over vibe more than make up for it. I know the guitar is michael (not the greatest guitar player, michael, but no one sounds like him and he sounds like no one else — which is saying a lot). it sounds like pig’s head studio but I don’t know who played bass or drums. crazy. must be the drink.

philadelphia c1998. another track made when we were trying to get off the floor after the geffen debacle. we always had a soft spot in our hearts for philadelphia, as it was our best market for ybam. it always seemed like a hospitable city for a young girl on the run. I think we were still trying to figure out a way to make a trip-hop rock track. you can hear it in geoff’s beat and my trademark tremelo guitar. I wonder why interscope didn’t think it was a hit!?

lust c2000. a demo for a possible sts song, I’m starting to take a more of a role with my guitar, trying to create counter melodies and using my 001 rig to compensate for the fact that I suck at guitar. I like the essence of some of these lines, even if they’re a little ham-handed. “I believe in lust, I believe in what my hands can touch, I believe that everything we’ve done is already forgiven.” when in doubt, write about sex.

call c2007. I got a call from gwen riley, a friend and valued attorney, about a cool documentary called waiting for hockney. she said they needed a song so I wrote ‘call’ with my buddy and business partner dj hofer (from the tmy live duo tracks). deej played the instruments and programmed the drums and I made up words and sang ‘em. they dug the song. we signed the contract. then it all fell apart… oh well, got a good song out of it. kind of a pete yorn vibe I think.

play with fire c1999. another track with marti. once again I’m not sure what we were thinking. grunge? metal? again, I really like the lyrics in the verses. sometimes I feel like elvis costello — I can write the hell out of a verse but the better the verse is the more likely the chorus is to be awkward and lack any discernible hook. anyway, I hate this, but I don’t blame you if you don’t.

tell me why c1999. this is me and michael and marti. michael and marti got on a john lennon jag and went to town. I found the whole thing dubious, which is why I did a depeche mode number on this song for sts. I think this is a legitimate interpretation though, and maybe even superior. marti’s wurlitzer and michael’s leslied guitar are fab — organic and very moving. I guess, though, that I never really dug the beatles all that much. I mean, I know they’re super-geniuses and everything, but I’m more of a stones guy…

see the sun c1999. the monastery recording of this song, featuring belfer and freese. very heavy and not my favorite, except for michael’s piano in the chorus which is sweet sweetness. this is the second of three recordings of ‘see the sun’ (do people out there have the weird 4-track recording with lots ‘o strings?). the guitar at the end exposes just how deeply michael’s feet are planted in acid rock.

perfect girl c1999. again, the monastery. this is the template for the sts version but I think the sts versions are better than both of these. andy’s guitar and his 303 kill. josh’s fills are amazing, but I sound silly on the bridge. and do you really want to hear about me “begging for the sex I need”? I don’t.

circus lights c1999. recorded at tim mooney’s excellent pig’s head studio in s.f. (with — I think — tim on drums), this is the first recording of this song. I think there’s a little video web greeting we did when we were cutting this. anyway, can you hear the constant noise of some delay effect michael’s got going on? it sounds like the room you’re listening in is being shaken by godzilla. kind of makes me sea sick. but the third verse is not to be missed. I left it out of the sts version for some idiotic reason.

come on c2003. in 2003, at the height of our despair and after, I imagine, a great deal of gin and becks, andy or I decided that we could make a better garage track than that crap band jet that was all over the radio and tv and ads. what did a bunch of jerk off aussies know about ac/dc and the idiot-savants from nuggets? so let me tell you, we laid this DOWN. we ROCKED it. and then, after waking up hung over and unhappy, we realized that we could not, in fact, make a better garage track than jet. we consoled ourselves with the remembrance that ac/dc is also australian. damn!

what child is this c1998. it’s a dirge-rock christmas! this is an artifact of the kind of music business that is so long past it seems like a fantasy in the mist, a dream where you always get picked up from the airport in a limo and the promo guys take you to pre-show dinners at strip clubs from coast to coast (o canada!). this track was commissioned by a long-extinct radio trade rag for their annual christmas cd. I mean, they paid for us to go into a STUDIO and do this. we bought jingle bells for this track (I still have ‘em)! incredible, true. but I’m sure this spiritually uplifting track lifted everyone’s spirits.

body of an angel c1994. this song comes from the same sessions that produced the paul durham band tracks featured on ten million years: songs from the nineteen nineties. somehow it didn’t fit with the other songs on that record, though I can’t remember why. it’s both better and worse than a lot of those tracks, both more and less personal. I’m happy to have it here, though. jim kassis (drums), paul baker (bass) and hershel yatovitz (guitars & engineering) do a good job at trying to hold something that is so disparate together. “I want to up and run. I want to shelter you from what I’ve done” still resonates.

gates of the country c1996. from the same sessions as ‘the moon,’ and featured as the b-side on the cd single for ‘wash it away.’ I’m not sure how you have a b-side on a cd, but I suppose that this recording is black lab’s only genuine b-side. so far — I should say. we’re not done yet. we started with this chunk of awkward beauty and we’re not done yet. in fact, we’re just getting started. I still like to hear a big crowd roar.

thanks for listening.
p


lyrics

black eye. janie can’t keep herself home tonight. keep herself believing she’ll be alright. keep herself awake to the body that’s close to the hands and the feet that nobody else knows. all the way from london. she looks away laughing at herself in her black eye shade at the boy can’t keep his pain under the glass. laughing at the world as it just slides past. I know this black eye wastes these days wastes this light. I know this black eye wastes these days wastes this sunlight. maybe the mission ain’t good enough. maybe you need someone who can stand your love. maybe there’s somebody who’s cool to the touch who can keep yourself from hurting yourself so much. I know this black eye wastes these days wastes this light. I know this black eye wastes these days wastes this spotlight. let me crucify you let me sacrifice our love. let me resurrect you you’ll be my resurrection now. let me celebrate you let me hold your head up high. let me hang you from the sky. I know this black eye wastes, it wastes. I know this black eye wastes these days wastes this sunlight.

your body as a marker. I take you out buy you shoes you take me home and help me choose between the kitchen table and the bed. you open up my stubborn mouth you feed me like a summer trout rising up to breathe between your legs. hold yourself up high hold yourself up high. your body as a marker a beacon in the dark. stay where I can reach stay where I can reach. your body as a marker of what I am so far. you wake up wrapped around my waist I wake up to the heavy taste of you hanging heavy in the air. if I could find a words so sweet that would cut you up and make you start to bleed. bleed heavy in my hair. hold yourself up high hold yourself up high. your body as a marker a beacon in the dark. stay where I can reach stay where I can reach. your body as a marker of what I am so far. she’s cinnamon in my brain cinnamon in my brain. she’s cinnamon in my brain cinnamon in my vein. catch me once before I die with someone else make you cry the way you’re always scared I’m gonna do. and all your fear won’t have been in vain and all these years of going insane a sweet vindication for you. hold yourself up high hold yourself up high hold yourself up high. your body as a marker a beacon in the dark. stay where I can reach stay where I can reach. your body as a marker of what I am so far.

body of an angel. it’s not the kind of thing I do to be as good as I’ve been to you. yeah, I keep my head you keep me in your bed but, baby… it’s hard to know what’s right in another town on a friday night. she slipped her hand in mine I could feel your arms around me. like the body of an angel. wrap me in wings I’m falling down. how can I explain it choking on words I make no sound. I can tell you a lie tell you the truth I cheated on you. I wanna up and run. I want to shelter you from what I’ve done. I can’t believe myself how much I need your arms around me. like the body of an angel. wrap me in wings I’m falling down. how can I explain it choking on words I make no sound. I can tell you a lie tell you the truth I cheated on you. girl I know I take my more than I give. say but is this something angels don’t forgive? so let the gavel swing. is it gonna cost me everything? yeah, you can cut me down but I need your arms around me. like the body of an angel. wrap me in wings I’m falling down. how can I explain it choking on words I make no sound. I can tell you a lie tell you the truth I cheated on you.

call. setting off on big new journeys never was my strongest suit. set myself against the wind and push until it moves. if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it one too many times. get the wind to blow behind you, yeah, and you can fly. and I try and I try to keep it inside. I can’t keep it inside. if the lights fall down on me I’ll be ok. if the night falls down on me I’ll call your name. I call. look at me I’m wide awake as nervous as can be. the sense of expectation’s the only thing that’s killing me. and I try and I try to keep it inside. I can’t keep it inside. if the lights fall down on me I’ll be ok. if the night falls down on me I’ll call your name. I call.

circus lights. come on and spend the night under the circus lights I wanna see you high above the crowd. you know I’ve swallowed fire and I’ve fallen off the wire too many times before. now you’re asking me to show you more love, more light, more heat. you’re asking me, shake you, burn you, to show you more. more light, more heat. you ask and we can’t say what comes when these circus lights go out. i’ll be the tattooed man. you can be the acrobat. i’ll try to catch you when you fall. we’ll be together then like a pair of siamese twins entwined against the floor. tell me what more could you ask for? more, more light, more heat. you’re asking me, shake you, burn you, to show you more. more light, more heat. you ask and we can’t say what comes when these circus lights go out. I ain’t innocent. no one’s innocent. I still like to hear a big crowd roar. but when I see that light everybody dressed in white will you be there by the door? will show me what I’m looking for? more light, more heat. I’m asking please to shake me, burn me, show more. more light, more heat. you ask and we can’t say what comes when these circus lights go out.

come on. I spent the night in the corner watching you. I know you couldn’t help yourself, you were watching me, too. in the end I couldn’t stand the pain waiting there to lay my claim. well, come on we’ll get the party started on your knees. come on, yeah. put your body on the floor for me. come on, yeah. I know you’re young but you’re not afraid. it’ll be alright, you’ll be ok. well come on, yeah. come on. all the things that I want to do with you. I’m up for things that your momma won’t want you to do. want you to whet my appetite. I’m gonna keep you up all night. well, come on. we’ll get the party started on your knees. come on, yeah. put your body on the floor for me. come on, yeah. I know you’re young but you’re not afraid. it’ll be alright, you’ll be ok. well come on, yeah. come on.

free. put your hair up I can’t take it when you let it down. I can’t stand it can’t keep my hands off of it. my eyes are like spiders on you. I’m creeping out of my skin and into yours again. have mercy have mercy there’s already somebody sleeping in my bed. I know you I know you. you want me for yourself but I am free. I know you I know you. you want me on your shelf but I am free. you bait me you know how to torture me. you keep me in my corner like a boxer who’s fingers are crushed from the touch of your lust. and I know you I know you. you want me for yourself but I am free. I know you I know you. you want me on your shelf but I am free. if I call don’t waste my time. if I call don’t you waste my time. waste my time. don’t waste my time. hey, well I know you I know you. you want me for yourself but I am free. I know you I know you. you want me on your shelf but I am free. I know you I know you. you want me on my knees but I am free. I know you I know you. you wanna take your piece but I am free. I’m free.

gates of the country. april. back in new york. the 31st floor. it seems somehow everything’s changed. the kitchen too small. plates on the wall. the sound of machinery. may. where have you been? who were you running with? wasn’t he someone you used to call home? where is the ring? where is the boy who went travelling alone? she is much better without me. she walks through the gates of the country. hands at her side. and I smile as I watch her walk by. somehow I see there are ships in her eyes. she’s better off now. june. the curtain is shut. the patterns are cut. the maid who will wake you at dawn. pulls out a chair. pulls down your hair. it’s just like you wanted. july. what’s going on? what are you running from? why are you sleeping alone on the floor? some people change. others hang on ’til they can’t anymore. she is much better without me. she walks through the gates of the country. her hands at her side. and I smile as I watch her walk by. somehow I see there are ships in her eyes. and she is better off now. and she is much better without me. she walks through the gates of the country. her hands in the air. and I smile as I watch her walk by. somehow I see there are ships in her eyes. she is better off now.

gone away. today I can’t stand on my two I can’t stand for this to be. what I know to be true when all I want is you with me. I keep it close against me press it up against my chest. shouldn’t be surprised at all it’s what you always did best. gone away and the wind blows in. the sun is setting on my skin I know you’ll never be alone no. I’ll be there when you get home. this bright season bright day. I can’t even hold my breath. I can’t even hold still. gone away and the wind blows in. the sun is setting on my skin I know you’ll never be alone, no. I’ll be there where you go. gone away and the wind don’t sleep. the sun has set but it’s only skin deep. you’ll never be alone no. I’ll be there when you get home. this bright season, bright day.

good day. pull the broken glass out of my hands and face. I can’t stand to see you there just staring into space. seven lonely hours from now the sun will set. and will we still be fighting then or will you follow me? let’s go back to bed we’ll see what we got left. she said “today is a good day. today is a good day. today is a good day to die.” if you woke up this morning with the house on fire what would you take what would you leave behind? if you woke up this morning here and I was gone what would you regret? what do you wish you’d said? would you drop some bomb? were you faking it all along? today is a good day. today is a good day. today is a good day to die. today is a good day, as good as any other day. today is a good day to die. could you be satisfied with me? could you be satisfied to be? hey you who wanted to be free we forgot to ask what freedom means. it’s a good day. it’s a good day. today is a good day to die. today is a good day, as good as the next day. today is a good day to die.

good life. if i stay awake forever the night will never come. if jesus has a father then nothing’s ever wrong. so why am i alone in the middle of this crowd? why am i so sorry for things I thought aloud? momma said the words would come and now the clock is running out. I know everybody wants a good life. I know I’m so happy in the spotlight. (do you know what I mean?) I know. I know. I know. so “come on give me shelter” the old men used to sing. well if I had a dollar for every fucking thing buried in my heart, buried like a king. shelter from my instincts. the freedom of release. momma said the words would come but then the novocaine wore off. I know everybody wants a good life. I know I’m so happy in the spotlight. (do you know what I mean?) I know I go looking for a good fight. and I know everybody needs a good night. (do you know what I mean?) so black on black. black on white. white on brown. white on red. white on black. days on end. the end of days. salad days. picture perfect days. I step inside up the steps down the hall through your door into your bed. where were you this morning? the sheets were soaking wet. momma said the words would come but now the clock is running out. I know everybody wants a good life. I know I’m so happy in the spotlight. (do you know what I mean?) I know I go looking for a good fight. I know everybody needs a good night. (do you know what I mean?) and I know everybody wants a good life? (do you know what i mean?) i know everybody’s on their own time. (do you know what i mean?) I know everybody… everybody.

head on a stake. manic tragic I get lost in the middle. right wing left wing get me out of the middle. I could lose my head I’d be better off I swear. I could lose my thread that would be better baby. so take my head and put it on a stake I don’t mind. you can tear me limb from limb until I break I don’t mind. ’cause if I was queen then you would be my cake and I would find you’re the only thing that means a thing to me. that means a thing to me. white skin black skin let them breed to the middle. angels assholes I get lost in the middle. if I could shed my skin I’d be better off I swear. if I could suck you in I would be better baby. so take my head and put it on a stake I don’t mind. you can tear me limb from limb until I break I don’t mind. ’cause if I was queen then you would be my cake and I would find you’re the only thing that means a thing to me. that means a thing to me. if you had something and you lost something would you get it back? could you get it back? cause I want it back. yeah I want it back. I. want. you. I want you. so take my head and put it on a stake I don’t mind. you can tear me limb from limb until I break I don’t mind. ’cause if I was queen then you would be my cake and I would find you’re the only thing that means a thing to me means a thing to me.

hole in the sky. get yourself a monkey wrench. cross the border go out past the edge of town. slip slide on the salt flats. cross yourself if you think it helps. don’t bother to wait for me when I’m gone strip mining the outback. cause I’m steppin off the ledge. jumping out the window. fallin through a hole in the sky. I see the long hair down your back or braided up in corn row. you move your lips as if to say goodbye. falling through a hole in the sky. back down at the courthouse it’s like sittin up straight in church. sit blind in the dark. at the circus after hours they’re throwing knives but nobody’s gettin hurt. sit beside me just a little left of the mark. ’cause I’m steppin off the ledge. jumping out the window. fallin through a hole in the sky. I see the long hair down your back or braided up in corn row. you move your lips as if to say goodbye. falling through a hole in the sky. how much time you gonna waste? how much ink must be erased before you see the things before you? how many times you gonna run? how many games must be begun before you hear the one behind you calling to remind you. as you’re steppin off the ledge. jumping out the window. fallin through a hole in the sky. I see the long hair down your back or braided up in corn row. you move your lips as if to say goodbye. falling through a hole in the sky.

horses. you say you want some horses to ride them without end. horses for your lovers. horses for your friends. you say you want a blanket to wrap yourself up in. but I can’t burn the money there’s nothing left to spend. and besides, you lie. there’s nothing to hold onto and I don’t even know you. and besides your lies are almost always airtight. today it’s always midnight behind your eyes. you say you want some horses to keep me close at heart. tie man between them. pull the man apart. you say you want a habit but you don’t know where to start. you don’t know why you want it. you don’t know who you are. and besides your lies there’s nothing to hold onto. and I don’t even know you. and besides your lies are almost always airtight. today it’s always midnight behind your eyes. and besides your lies there’s nothing to hold onto and I don’t even know you. and besides your lies are almost always airtight. today it’s always midnight behind your eyes.

I am a DJ. I’m home lost my job. I’m incurably ill. you think this is easy. realism. I’ve got a girl out there I suppose. I think she’s dancing. feel like Dan Dare lies down. I think she’s dancing what do I know? I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around no, can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around, no. can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. I got believers believing me yeah. one more weekend of lights and evening faces. fast food. living nostalgia haunted by a bitter truth. what do I know? I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around no, can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around, no. can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. I’ve got believers believing me yeah. what do I know? I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around no, can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around, no. can’t turn around. I am a DJ I am what I play. can’t turn around no. can’t turn around, no. no. I used to be a junkie now I’m the puppet master. I am a DJ, and I’ve got believers. I’ve got believers. I’ve got believers in me. I am a DJ I’ve got believers in me. I am a DJ. I am a DJ.

lucky. can you tell that I feel unlucky today? can you tell that things ain’t going my way? can you tell that the world is coming down on me? you know I can’t stand ending up in second place. I need to feel your hands all over my face. I want to be the ground you walk on and the air you breathe. hey now look away now. I wanna know do you feel lucky today? come on. hey now look away now. I wanna know your luck is raining down on me. come on. raining down on me. come on. oh the odds are long but I got money to burn. my hands may shake but my offer is firm. come on baby give me one more chance. because I’m all messed up I got no where to go. I’ve got the best stone luck but it just won’t hold. I need to feel your arms around me when I crash. hey now look away now. I wanna know do you feel lucky today? come on. hey now look away now. I wanna know your luck is raining down on me. raining down on me. come on. raining down on me. hey now look away now. I wanna know do you feel lucky today? come on. hey now look away now. I wanna know your luck is raining down on me.

keep myself awake. I hate to talk like this I hate to act as if there’s something wrong that I can’t say. I have this dream at night almost every night. I’ve been dreaming it forever. it’s easy to remember it. it’s always cold it’s always day you’re always here you always say that I’m alright, I’ll be ok if I can keep myself awake. keep myself awake. I get up early I look around me I can’t help but wonder what you mean. ’cause when I’m sleeping I’m so deep in it’s so much more real to me. closer that reality. it’s always cold it’s always day you’re always here you always say that I’m alright, I’ll be ok if I can keep myself awake. keep myself awake. I get up early I look around me I’m buying coffee by the pound. when I’m sleeping I’m so deep in. I can keep myself awake. keep myself awake.

like I used to. you had it. you lost it. what more do you want from me? don’t understand it. why won’t you let it be. ’cause I know, I see, you’re still a part of me but the drama hangs over so won’t you set me free? why won’t you let it be? ’cause I don’t love you. I can’t remember you and I don’t love you like I used to. I don’t love you. some things you have to choose and I don’t love you like I used to, love you like I used to do. the summer, the winter beats like a hammer on a shelter that’s shattered. my heart’s an empty hangar and I know I see you’re still a part of me that can give and take before it’s too late. i know it’s too late. ’cause I don’t love you. I can’t remember you and I don’t love you like I used to. ’cause I don’t love you. almost believe it’s true and I don’t love you like I used, love you like I used to do. she wants it she needs it but she don’t understand I’m already miles away. she wants it, she needs it. she don’t understand I’m already gone and this is wasted time, wasted words. ’cause I don’t love you. I can’t remember you and I don’t love you like I used to. ’cause I don’t love you. some things you have to choose and I don’t love you like I used to do, I used to do. ’cause I don’t love you. I can’t remember you and I don’t love you like I used to. ’cause I don’t love you I almost believe it’s true. and I don’t love you like used to, love you like I used to do.

lust. I can feel it turning me on like a ghost, a shadow moving across your face your smile lying at me. well do you think what your eyes don’t speak? I know, tell me everything. let go of the last three weeks and come lay in the garden with me. I’m saying your name I’m begging you please. I believe in lust. I believe it just might be enough. I believe that everything we’ve done is already forgiven now. I believe in lust. I believe in what my hands can touch. I believe you just might be too much. I feel like a beginner now. I’ll see. don’t start, don’t start with me. you wanna replay, replay breaking me down all goddamn day. I know a boy you’ve never met. I know a word he never says. your lips making me hard saying my name breaking my heart. I believe in lust. I believe it just might be enough. I believe that everything we’ve done is already forgiven, yeah. I believe in lust. I believe in what my hands can touch. I believe you just might be too much. I feel like a beginner now.

mexican sand. what did I do? woke up with a gun in my hand. what did I do? face down in the mexcian sand. and the air outside is filled with screams but I ain’t crying I am learning to sing. I’m gonna burn myself away. gonna burn myself away. nobody nobody ever lives forever. nobody nobody ever lives forever. I’m almost out of time. now the gun is pointed at me. what do I do? I keep having these mexican dreams. yeah I’m sick and tired of painted eyes of window shopping for god in disguise. I’m gonna burn myself away. gonna burn myself away. nobody nobody ever lives forever. nobody nobody ever lives forever. I’m almost out of time. I’m almost out of time. and I’m one by land and two by sea. the mexican sand these mexican dreams. and I’m one by land and two by sea. the mexican sand these mexican dreams. I’m gonna burn myself away. gonna burn myself away. nobody nobody ever lives forever. nobody nobody ever lives forever. I’m almost out of time.

the moon. if the moon was in my hands I’d shake her from the sky. make her feel like I do. make her want to die. make her feel like a boy on a white hot stove. you can’t stay too close but you freeze if you don’t. oh the moon sits high in her chair. she knows but she don’t really care. she just shines. she just shines. old lady luna mother of us all. you would hold us close catch us when we fall. but you’re so far away and the night’s so cold. so you stay where you are and watch us get older. the moon sits high in her chair. she knows but she don’t really care. she just shines. yeah, she just shines. I didn’t think to ask you. didn’t think you wanted to know. I know you’re not sorry and I know where I want to go. oh the moon sits high in her chair. she knows but she don’t really care. oh the moon sits high in her chair. she knows but she don’t really care. she just shines. yeah, she just shines. she just shines.

not too late. I made a fool of myself tonight. I never thought I had the right to say it’s ok. cause I don’t know when to shut my mouth. I don’t know when I’m too proud to say it’s ok. now I keep falling for you. I keep falling for you. so give me the world give me strength. give me my heart back before it breaks. you give me your love but I can’t take it. give me your word that it’s not too late. I love the way you let down your guard. if you ever just want to start a fight well it’s alright. I hope you don’t get hurt again. I don’t want your innocence to die. alright. and I keep falling for you. I keep falling for you. so give me the world give me strength. give me my heart back before it breaks. you give me your love but I can’t take it. give me your word that it’s not too late. go on my love my love for with you is where I want to be. go on my love my love for you with you is where I want to be. ive all my love, my love for you ’cause with you is where I want to be. give all my love, my love for you ’cause with you is where I want to be. so give me the world give me strength. I’m trying to find you before it breaks. you give me your love but I can’t take it. let me surrender I’ll feel no pain. I fought it as long as this heart could take. tell me again that it’s not too late.

perfect girl. she’s a perfect girl. and no, nobody ever, ever could tell her what it’s like to fall in love. she’s tired of searching, she wants to be perfect. nothing’s ever good enough. and I watch I wait. catch her eye and look away. nobody ever, ever could tell her. but I tried. now she keeps me hanging on the line. waiting for a sign, begging for the sex I need. she’s a perfect girl. hanging by phone. praying all alone. waiting for the stone to bleed. she’s a perfect girl. she’s a perfect girl. and she wanted to want me. wanted to need me. wanted all those distant stars. wanted a surgeon, the big operation. but she couldn’t bear the scars. and she cut me well. but she wouldn’t be cut herself. and nobody told me I could be lonely but I fell. now she keeps me hanging on the line. waiting for a sign, begging for the sex I need. she’s a perfect girl. hanging by phone. praying all alone. waiting for the stone to bleed. she’s a perfect girl. she’s a perfect girl. yeah, well I’m not perfect, what’s a girl to do? in a perfect world I’d be perfect, too. and the longer that she makes me wait the more my heart begins to break but it’s worth it when she comes. in the morning she’ll be gone and I’ll be hanging on the line. waiting for a sign, begging for the sex I need. she’s a perfect girl. hanging by phone. praying all alone. waiting for the stone to bleed. she’s a perfect girl. she’s a perfect girl.

philadelphia. young girl’s second day of sleeping on the street. wakes up with a hole where her money’s supposed to be. spends the day in silence for what it’s worth. she has somewhere else to be but now there’s no where else on earth but philadelphia. philadelphia. what are you waiting for? what are you waiting for? philadelphia. philadelphia. what are you waiting for? I’m waiting for you here in philadelphia. gets herself a slice on independence day. guy behind the counter’s busy watching the parade. catches her reflection in the window light. she’s thinking about home and where she’ll sleep tonight in philadelphia. philadelphia. what are you waiting for? what are you waiting for? philadelphia. philadelphia. what are you waiting for? I’m waiting for you here in philadelphia.

play with fire. you lay here like a fire, like a ship burning in my head. you lay naked in the mirror above my bad. I’ve seen the light, seen your body open like a church. I believe, I believe. I’m begging in the dirt for what it’s worth come on and play with me. never walk away from me. come on baby play with me like you play with fire. give me hope, give me peace, give me lots of friends. give me you in a long, black mercedes benz. ’cause I’ve seen the light, tasted water I won’t live without. give me grace, give me shelter in your underground. don’t let me down come on and play with me. never walk away from me. come on baby play with me like you play with fire. come on we’ll make the earth shake in san francisco. come on we’ll make the waves break in south redondo. come on we’ll be the garden snakes in the garden of the lord. come on and play with me. never walk away from me. come on baby play with me like you play with fire.

rock star. you talk about hollywood city of sin. what have you seen? where have you been? you tell me you’re lost addicted to drugs. why don’t you stop pretending start sweating some blood. there’s a world out there you know nothing about. and bullshit television doesn’t count. why don’t you pack a bag get some cash get a bus to l.a. you’re telling me you wanna be a rock star. you wanna be a movie star. you say you want to party hard. want to die in a fast car. you want to be a big star. you want to be a super star. yeah yeah yeah. get a haircut, pay through the nose. get a fake rolex, be sure that it shows. go down to jet rag, steal some threads. be careful ’bout drugs and who’s in your bed. ’cause it would suck to die before your prime like brandon lee or the guy in sublime. there’s a city on earth that can set you free. better get to l.a. before it falls in the sea and be a rock star. yeah you’ll be a movie star. you say you want to party hard. want to die in a fast fast car. you want to be a big star. do you know who you are? yeah yeah yeah. look up in the sky and see the stars a long long way from home. everybody wants to be a star but no one wants to be alone. look up in the sky and see the stars a long long way from home. everybody wants to be a star everybody wants to be a star wants to be a rock star, wants to be a movie star. everybody wants to party hard. wants to die in a fast, fast car. yeah you’ll be a rock star. yeah you’ll be a movie star. you say you want to party hard. want to die in a fast car. yeah you’ll be a big star. but do you know who you are?

see the sun. if I feel this feeling if I let myself go deep again will you stay by my side, yeah? ’cause if I feel this feeling things will never be the same again. if planets collide I won’t mind yeah I’ll be fine. I can’t see the sun anymore. I can’t feel the ground anymore. I can’t see the sun anymore but I don’t mind. I’m by your side and I feel fine. are you my revelation? are you the answer to my question? or have I wasted my time, yeah? ’cause if I feel this feeling will you crawl out of your perfect skin and climb in to mine. will you shine? will you be my light? I can’t see the sun anymore. I don’t feel so numb anymore. I can’t see the sun anymore but I don’t mind. you’re by my side and I feel fine. hey michelle we’re too young to be alone. hey michelle is your heart still made of stone. hey babe I call will you take me home. hey babe I’m calling hear me calling ’cause I can’t see the sun anymore. can’t feel the dust anymore. I can’t see the sun anymore but I don’t mind. I’ll go blind but I’m I’ll right. you’re by my side and I feel fine.

sugar. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. super girl in a sticky dress hanging out of a little leather vest. you dream at night of her beautiful lips. you want to die in the swing of her hips. walk straight straight head high look her straight on when you tell her those sweet lies. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. if I set myself on fire for you walk on the water like jesus used to do would you forgive me and forget where I’ve been? yeah would you let me back into your skin? walk straight straight head high look her straight on when you tell her those sweet lies. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. and the lord won’t wait too long and I’m almost home. and the lord won’t wait too long and I’m almost coming home. give us sugar. amen. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar. I know heaven’s a long ways away. give us sugar, give us sugar.

tell me what to say. tell me what to say and I will say it to you. I take one for the heartbreak, one for they headache, two for the constant tears. I take one for the blindness, one for the foolishness of trying to keep you here. I would stop waiting, stop crying, stop reading into why you stayed away so long. I would stop calling, stop writing, stop faking, stop denying you’re as good as gone but I don’t know. so you just tell me what to say and I will say it to you. I will do it for you. I will burn this house down. tell me what to say and I will say it to you. I will do what you do. I will burn us to the ground. well even on weekdays, even on sunday, even in the blackest night, even when you touch me I know that you don’t love me and I can’t make it right. I would stop waiting, stop walking, stop trying to start you talking. say your own goodbyes. I would stop drinking, stop feeling, break down and stop believing you might change your mind. but I don’t know so you just tell me what to say and I will say it to you. I will do it for you. I will burn this house down. tell me what to say and I will say it to you. I will do what you do. I will burn us to the ground. burn us to the ground.

tell me why. I tell you that I love you. you don’t believe a word I say. I tell you that you’re beautiful. you just turn away. how does it feel to be like you? how does it feel to break me like you do? how do you feel when I’m alone with you? are you out of your head? ’cause I’m out of my head. tell me why some things are perfect. tell me why some things are wonderful. tell me why some things are out of reach. tell me why why why. I want to know the things you think. I want to be the ghost in you. I want to sleep. I want to live inside your dream. yeah and make it all come true. how does it feel to be like you? how does it feel to break me like you do? how do you feel when I’m alone with you? are you out of your head? ’cause I’m out of my head. tell me why some things are perfect. tell me why some things are wonderful. tell me why some things are out of reach. tell me why why why. maybe I’m lost in my own world. maybe I’m in love with the wrong girl. maybe you need someone like you who hurts like you. tell me why some things are perfect. tell me why some things are wonderful. tell me why some things are out of reach. tell me why why why.

underground. piece yourself together again. go on and put on that long blonde wig. do your best to smile for the crowd. you’re thinking things you won’t say out loud is there some way out? let’s come together and they’ll never bury us alive. I’ve stopped believing in believing when we never even fight and all the good days and the bad days are bleeding into one long night I’m sleeping through. and I can’t wake up can you? love is the virtue of liars and she’s wearing lipstick on her eyes. severance is a virtue as well. like making love through the bars of a cell yeah she rings my bell. so come together and they’ll never bury us alive. I’ve stopped believing in believing when we never even fight. and all the good days and the bad days they’re bleeding into one long night I’m sleeping through and I can’t wake up can you? ’cause I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I don’t want to die but I can’t live this life. so I wait and I wait. uncover me when I’m underneath. underground, under earth, there’s no light, no sound, no machines, no pretending. it feels safe underground. underground.

what child is this. what child is this, laid to rest on mary’s breast asleep? the angels greet with anthems sweet as shepherds watch their keep. this, this is christ the king whom shepherds guard and angels sing. haste, haste to bring him laud. the babe the son of all. what child is this in mean estate where ox and ass have come to lay. good christians fear for sinners here. a silent word they pray. nails! spears shall pierce him through! the cross he’ll bear for me and you. hail, hail the word made flesh. the babe, the son of all.


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